3 A.M., THE COSLEEPERY HOTEL…
Knod: Gooooodness, thank goodness you’re open. I am literally so tired & wired I don’t think I could sleep a wink, but Heaven knows I need it. I’ve got white line fever.
Remmy: Sir, you have stumbled into exactly the right place. Welcome to the CoSleepery Hotel.
Knod: What exactly is the sort of name “CoSleepery”, sounds rather ludicrous, a little slippery to me…
Remmy: We, Sir, are here for the sleep deprived, who, through no fault of their own cannot do the thing which they most need to do but are unable to acquire-Sleep.
Knod: What exactly is done for one?
Remmy: Well, what we do is we sleep “for” you. Leave the dream driving to us.
Knod: Ironically, I had heard talk of this amongst my fellow truckers at of all places, the Rest Areas. Have I staggered into some sort of somnolent cult? But, cowboy, simple highway billboardin’ ain’t gonna cut it.
Remmy: Downshifter, I can appreciate you’re a very urbane and erudite transporter. Breaker, breaker, let’s talk.
Remmy: Without revealing patent secrets, technology, we here at the ‘Sleepery have created a way to override the ongoing conflict of the brain’s need to rest versus wanting to pull an all nighter.
Knod: I’ve got to say, I’ve noticed your eye movement whilst at this counter, those eyes of yours keeping flitting left, right, all over the lane-what in the world is up with you?
Remmy: Well, yes, the eyes have it. A little hint is to just shorten my name. This is, inconveniently, a side-effect of the cost of recuperating others so they may check out in the morning fully refreshed. This volley vision of mine like an umpire judge in the chair at Wimbledon does have its advantages. I’m a 1-man security detail, it keeps my bells hopping, and, I again just won Crossing Guard of the Year at my daughter’s school. I will admit it disturbs my ophthalmologist and has hastened some out of the lobby to typical mattress & waffle shacks.
Knod: Explain this thing to me again quickly.
Remmy: Using adaptive technology we “borrow” your brain, specifically only the sleep center. Then no matter if you do abide up all night and engage in aluminum foil origami, when the sun rises, inexplicably, you’ll feel fully rested and ready to pursue more asphalt. Have we hit the wall yet and ready to proceed?
Knod: Mi cabeza es su cabeza…
Remmy: Excellent choice! I shall now go over the Dream Release Disclosure Form. The easy part is appropriating your sleep cycle and motoring along. The more involved and sensitive matter is taking license of any and all dreams you would normally experience yourself. They become my property. Do see my book in the lobby, “Remmyniscences: Others’ Dreams I Have Had”? Yours undoubtedly will go in my sequel. By signing you agree that all dreams you, er, “we” have may be used in any way we see fit. After you leave of course you’ll resume with your down-induced reveries; our contract ceases.
Knod: Any side effects etc?
Remmy: As I said, contrarily you’ll feel utterly rested while being awake all night. And, you’ll sense a creative deficit, a vague feeling of dreaming of something without being able to actually recall it…we’ve borrowed it. In the morning you’ll find a dream diary and 2 chocolate breakfast mints under the pillow. And, by the way, I also do wholesome, spiritually based dream interpretations on the side. We’ve actually referenced dreams that have been published-anonymously of course.
Knod: Tell me one please.
Remmy: Sure, there’s a common one reported by one segment of our sleepovers. Usually the same with slight variation. A man felt he was stationary, “idling”, when suddenly another man whooshed by, suspended in midair, about 6 feet up in a sitting position. He felt as if his life was going nowhere in comparison and the other was about to “take off” since he was traveling in excess of 80 mph. He was in full-blown semi-envy. Not uncommon though, what man would not want to be behind all those horses.
Knod: And, the interpretation?
Remmy: This was so very simple to unwrap. I told the man who was still that the one who seemed to fly by him was in fact never going to lift off-though he was moving as if on a runway. And the apparent “success” of the one in motion, going places and higher up than he was also illusory. In fact, I told him he actually had the upper hand. He was allowed at his discretion to meet said traveler and pass on a greeting card to him which inevitably resulted in a much higher remuneration sent back his way. I also told him the general public endorsed his endeavors with their tax dollars with no complaint. You may, by the way, recognize the one inflight.
Knod: I do indeed. I believe I can fly…
Remmy: And, finally there’s another popular dream I’ve unpacked for others.
Knod: After this let’s hit the hay okay?
Remmy: Indeed. This again concerns a frequent stay over too. This fellow dreamt he was hauling a heavy weight, and, was concerned about the most mundane things. Matters such as where to secure water, power, and, how one handles disposal. He also recalled multiple incessant plaintive cries in high pitch though all he sought was rest and relaxation.
Knod: Let me guess, a lost ice cream truck?
Remmy: No, but partially right on the population. It really wasn’t a dream per se, but a reliving of being on the road non-stop for a week in his Stressabago. This guest needed our King Suite and the Extended Stay. I further recommended he cease the traveling and stay put in his puny house.
Knod: Remm, you’ve convinced me, I’ll dream the forward for the 2nd edition.