AT FIRST BITE…
SALESMAN: Excuse me Ma’am; hope you’re having a good day. May I introduce myself; I am Johnny Appleseed Upstanding, representative with the Truly Upright Tree Company. I noticed your mature tree leaning to one side. What type is it if I may ask?
Ms. McIntosh: That beauty is an Askew Aspen; I had to look right and left to find it.
Johnny Appleseed: Ma’am, I feel we have an affinity together somehow. By the way, why do you cock your neck so, healthily skeptical of my upcoming pitch?
Ms. McIntosh: Not so, it’s just how I need to admire it. By the way, you know what they say J-Seed, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. So, how can you help me straighten out my tree, it’s fully-grown already, permanently swayed.
J-Seed: No problem, we have found that nature somehow responds to nature. What we do is to tenderly tether Toms, turkeys, to the oppressing side’s branches and repeatedly feed them several times a day, day in and out. Our patented process takes 9 months and we then offer our birds for adoption the day before the 4th Thursday in November. Interested?
Ms. Mc’: Absolutely. Say, what can you do with a misleveled aquarium?
J-Seed: Sure we can solve it. All I’ll say is that while sponges are not advantageous in relationships…however…